Entering the exit door — or, ahem, having one’s exit door entered — just doesn’t do it for all guys. Queerty recently covered how the struggle is real for gay men who don’t enjoy anal sex, and one guy is worried he’ll never find love for exactly that reason.
“I’ve never been way into anal,” the guy writes in a recent Reddit thread. “Do I have hope of finding a partner, or am I doomed?”
The Redditor says that he’s had a “lot of anal sex,” but it’s never been a “huge thing” for him, and he usually has fun “doing other ‘activities.’”
“I think this is called being a ‘side,’” he adds. (He’d be right.) “Are sides doomed when it comes to finding a partner? And are there a lot out there? I read some study that showed [less than] 40% of gay guys’ last sexual activity didn’t involve anal, suggesting that anal sex isn’t as important as people make it out to be.”
(This guy might have seen our coverage of a study of men who have sex with men published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine in 2011, which touted those very results.)
Happily, fellow Redditors offered solidarity, proving that a happy ending — pardon the pun — is possible for the original poster. “My husband and I tend to avoid anal as well,” one wrote. “We both were tops in our last relationships, but only because it seemed like the better of two options. After meeting, we both confessed that even topping wasn’t really that great.”
Another user wrote: “My BF and I thought we were both 100% tops before we met. We are happy as can be. We do anal from time to time, but it’s not our main thing.”
“There are many ways to be gay and many ways to have gay sex,” that guy added. “All legit.”
And because this is Reddit we’re talking about, commenters came with jokes. “I hear marriage is a great way to avoid anal sex,” one quipped. Butt out, mister!